Heavenly Realtyβ’
    "Where Your Eternal ROI Begins" β Est. by Divine Vision, 2017
    β³ Only 143,999 Plots Remain!
  
  
  
    Secure Your Deeded Plot in the New Jerusalem
    Starting at $100 per celestial square meter
    
  
  
  
    
      
      Pearly Gates Prestige
      $20 / sq m
      β Front-row to Throne Room
β 24k Gold Driveway
β Harp Included
      
     
    
      
      Cloud Palace Panorama
      $10 / sq m
      β Sea of Glass View
β Angel Concierge
β No HOA Fees
      
     
    
      
      Eden Garden Nook
      $5 / sq m
      β Tree of Life Access
β No Weeds Ever
β Pet Unicorns Welcome
      
     
  
  
  
    What the Saints Are Saying
    
      "I was broke on Earth, but now I'm a celestial landlord! Hallelujah!" 
      β Bishop J. Moneybags, Televangelist
    
    
      "Best investment since Noah's Ark IPO. My mansion has a moat of milk and honey." 
      β Sister Golda Greed
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
    NO LAND ON EARTH IS BEING SOLD. HEAVENLY DEEDS WILL NOT EXIST ON THIS EARTH.
    No data is stored. For end of life entertainment only.
    Donations: Optional contributions to support the satirical website. No goods or services provided.
    See Terms of Divine Comedy
    "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil" β 1 Timothy 6:10